The way the cottonwoods sang in the summer breeze, the sound of the dead grass crunching beneath bare feet, the color of the sand as it blew off into the distance. Mr. Allen, now blind, recalls it all with astounding detail during my Saturday morning homebound visit. He continues to speak of his childhood, of trips to the gas station on foot after the summer morning thrill of filling five-gallon buckets with snakes—caught by hand. “I remember this red horse with wings flying over the pumps. I thought to myself: ‘a flying red horse? I’m gonna get me one of those someday.” A year later, his family had to flee the coop because the cotton farm couldn’t support them. He recalls his father’s strong faith and daily devotion, and the family getting up for Sunday Mass at 5am. He glows when he shares the new opportunities the move to the city gave him for Catholic education, but especially the community of brotherhood at the new school. The faith was a constant companion, then as now. He has listened to the Bible on audiotape several times through. He prays the Rosary constantly. Images of the Blessed Mother, the Sacred Heart, and the Divine Mercy adorn the unseen wall before him. A deep silence engulfs him. His tone shifts. Memories give way to mourning, and the shine in his voice slips somber. He can no longer go to Mass across the street. His siblings, and deepest companions in faith and life, have died. His kids have all abandoned—no, mock—the Faith. His faith! They are lost in drugs. Their families are broken. And he is mooched for the house in which they all live. I am glad Mr. Allen cannot see the squalor that surrounds us: roaches, food crumbs, paint peeling off the walls. But I know he can feel it, and the pain is deeper than words can describe, as are his longing for God, his desire for the salvation of his family, the ache to see his siblings again, and the dream to fly to the heavens on that red horse. A single tear leaks from his blind eyes.
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*Picture taken from https://www.abalook.com/500pxblog/2016/9/4/mobil-oils-pegesus-the-flying-red-horse